You saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

I know you don't really care too much about this, but writing this out will make me feel better about the amount of time I'm wasting watching baseball. Some strung-together (but not strung-out! yet!) thoughts on the first two nights of the playoffs:

1. What is UP with the Angels' batting helmets? Has an acid drip developed over home plate? Are they scuffing them up with a belt sander before the game to make themselves look tougher? Are they renting them out to coal miners in the off-season to use as pith helmets?

2. Potentially Bogus Call #1: Running outside the base path. He...ran right down the base path. He stepped squarely on the bag. There could certainly be something I'm not seeing there, because I thought this rule was called mainly on 6-year-olds who duck the tag by running to the outfield, but...hmmm.

3. Why do McCarver and Buck keep coming back to haunt me? It would be one thing if they talked about, I don't know, THE GAME, but the constant storytelling on hypotheticals and things that happened at batting practice three weeks ago...feh.

4. Last night, Cardinals v. Astros. The dirt cam is always weird, but it's kind of awesome at Busch. With the dirt in the lower frame and the lit-up, arch-y* windows in the upper frame, it looks a whole lot like a set of giant teeth fixing to chomp down on the batters. Go, Busch, go! Take 'em ALL out!
* I've been to Busch a million times and never realized until right now that the columns are arches. Arches! In St. Louis! How clever!

5. Most inappropriately funny out-of-context broadcaster blather of the night: "They were banging Carpenter all over the stadium last week."

6. Second most inappropriately funny out-of-context broadcaster blather of the night: "It's not that you squeeze, it's that you squeeze, like, seven times. I hate that."

7. Could the Fox broadcast team have given less coverage of the ALCS game? I saw one game update in the first inning, then...nothing. Just the score. Don't these people talk to each other?

8. And then, when the Cards FINALLY wrapped up the carnage, we switch over to the ALCS game just in time to see the whole debacle of Potentially Bogus Call #2, which, lets face it, could fairly accurately be reduced to just Bogus Call. I mean, the ump's just doing his job, and the batter's just doing his job, but come on. That's winning, but it's winning ugly, and the Sox seem to get by on that fairly regularly. I keep telling myself that at this point, I'm in it for the baseball, man, and the best teams should be the ones in the Series, and this year, that's the Cards and the Sox. But watching them makes me feel dead inside. I want to root for them--Midwest, represent!--but they make it so stupidly hard to like them sometimes.

9. Oh--I nearly forgot. Dear GOD, who created that creepy condescending cartoon baseball? Get off my screen, curvy.

That's it. We'll see how it goes from here.