November 10: It's a slow day.
EAT BUNNY DUST LEROY!
Buuuurn! I love that. This, written in soap on my coworker's car, only makes sense in Central Illinois.
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The other night I shut down my room in the office and strolled out to find a giant mouse sitting placidly in the hallway. It was right at the intersection of two main hallways, right outside the breakroom, right below the main light switch, and right in my path to the door. There was no way to skirt around it. And the damn thing would NOT move. I mean, it would move a little bit--lift its head, turn around, wave at me--but would not just politely get the hell out of my way.
I hate mice. My mom was seriously, insanely mouse-phobic, and it's not so much that I'm scared of them as that they just sort of piss me off with a combination of revulsion, incredulity at their brazenness in entering MY area, and...okay, fear. Fear that they will freak out when I pass by them and, in a disoriented frenzy to get out of the way, run right up my pants leg. I'm not worried about disease, or that they'll bite, or anything--I just want them to stay the hell out of my pants.
So I stomped around a little. Didn't move. I shouted at it. Didn't move. I considered throwing something at it, but the only thing I had handy was my keys, and if I threw them I'd just have to go get them back from mouse town. It was a real pickle. Finally I did what any normal rational adult would do: I went out through the warehouse door, walked around the building, came back in the front door, and reported to Nancy, the only remaining coworker that there was a MOUSE in the HALLWAY, and that I was leaving it there and going home. Which I then did, imagining the shock I would cause the next day when I reported that we have a mouse! In the house! By the breakroom!
But Nancy beat me to it. When the first employees arrived Wednesday, the following sign was posted on the facilities guy's door in beautiful Headline News fashion:
Mouse Dying in Hallway
So, to recap: I'm a wuss, we have mice, and they are properly mourned.
posted by tornadia @ 6:18 PM
3 Comments:
what you learn from a blog.
i never knew the leroy bunny thag.
good to be a little read-up on local slam-possibilities before coming back. thanks.
and fucking hilarious. i never knew yer mouse -- er -- mouse up the pants phobia either. that was a laugh-out-loud-too-often-in-public read. thanks!
One time when I was a kid a mouse was running away from my dad and ran right over the top of my foot, then got stuck under the front door, door stop style. That...tends to stick with you. Also? In one of the Little House on the Prairie books, a mouse starts chewing Pa's hair in the middle of the night, and Pa sleepily grabs it and throws it across the room. In the morning, there's a dead wall-smashed-head mouse on the floor, and Pa's got a bald spot.
I've got a lot more hair than Pa did. Don't tell the mice.
I laughed out loud for this one too. We continue to sneak into your blog. Ha HA!
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