The Drink Detective

I got this forward today, with the added advice to discuss and think. Here's what I think. Discuss?


Drink Detective Advert (Discuss & Think!)

As a woman in today' life style(1) we face(2) the increasing problem of having our drinks spiked. The consequences of this happening can result in drug assisted Date-Rape, robbery and depending on the amount of drug administered even loss of life.(4)

We as women face this each time we go out socially.(5) It is our job to protect ourselves and also enlighten all women(6) too this fast goring national epidemic that is rampant in our collage campuses, university's, high schools, bars and clubs.(7) Also, drink spikers do not only adulterate alcohol drinks, they will spike soft drinks.(8)

What can we do to combat this problem?? And perhaps save one woman from this horror that will haunt her for the rest of her life. I have personally experienced the horror and pain of Date -Rape that still haunts me today.(9)

WayPoint Biomedical offers a product that can identify the presence of illicit drugs in drinks.(10) This product can help protect woman from this insidious crime, by simply testing her drink,(11) and in a matter of 30 seconds she may save herself from the pain of Date-Rape(12)

This revolutionary new tool combats drink spikers, along with providing enhanced public awareness that will truly deter the crime.(13)

The Drink Detective (tm) is no larger then a credit card which will fit easily into your purse. The product will give you quick and accurate results within seconds of testing the drink. Our product can detect up to 60 known date-rape drugs. Priced affordably(14) and with a wealth of supportive data through our website www.drinkdetectiveusa.com, you can easily see the advantages of having such a product in your possession.(15)

Please find enclosed our tri-fold brochure detailing the Drink Detective
(tm) product and please contact me directly for further information or a sample

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Grrrrr, this pisses me off.
+ 1. Yes. The one monolothic lifestyle of "today' woman." (Interesting sidenote: British statistics indicate 15% of reported drugged-drink incidents are reported by men.)
+ 2. I'm just going to overlook the fact that it reads as though it were written by an entrepreneurial eighth grader.
+ 3. I particularly like the use of facts and evidence to support the claims here.
+ 4. Whoa. Are you getting scared?
+ 5. Each time! Whether or not you're drinking things! EACH TIME! Scared yet?
+ 6. That's...a really big job that I didn't know I had. It is my job to enlighten all women? That's a piss-poor paying line of work, I think.
+ 7. I'm must look beyond homonym and apostrophe abuse, because the problem--it is fast-goring! Like a quick-headed bull! I rather like that one.
+ 8. Don't think you're safe if you don't drink alcohol! You are never safe! If you ever consume liquids, you are in serious danger and it is your JOB to protect yourself! But how? If only there were some way! Something I could, perhaps, purchase! Bonus points, though, for the excellent use of "adulterate."
+ 9. I, yes I, anonymous copywriter, have experienced the horror of Date- Rape, so you should trust me, whoever I am.
+ 10. Wait--you mean there's something out there that would allow me to do my JOB of protecting myself, aside from paying attention to my drinks and surrounding myself with supportive and watchful people?
+ 11. Using a pipette to draw 5 drops of liquid, to be dropped onto three separate test strips.
+ 12. So...if all women had this product, date rape would be a thing of the past? Because I thought our job was to protect ourselves from the insidious crime of drink-spiking. But since the two are apparently synonymous, clearly, the way to end date rape is to NOT DRINK LIQUIDS OR EAT FOOD. Anymore. Then there's no more date rape. Fantastic! Oh, wait. No. Be scared! Very scared! This is not fantastic at all!
+ 13. Exactly...how? Does it do public speaking engagements in high schools? Does it kick drink spikers in the kneecaps? Because I'm guessing if you pull out the test tubes and whatnot, the drink spiker would have a sudden spasm that just might knock your drink to the floor. Or an intense urge to use the bathroom. Or...to just pick you up and haul you to the shed behind the party, to beat you senseless. Of course, when you regain consciousness, maybe people will see the bruises and their awareness will be raised.
+ 14. $7.99 a pop, if you buy 12; $7.75 per, if you buy 24; $7.50, if you buy 36. Those are the only quantities available from their website, for a respective total (before shipping and handling) of $95.88, $186, or $270 for the value-priced 36 pack.
+ 15. I won't even bother with the purse and credit card crap, but I can't believe they spelled out right there in the ad that the website contains "supportive data." Wait--you mean it doesn't include nonsupportive data? I checked the website, and what is not there is any information on the percentage of rapes, acquaintance or otherwise, that involve date rape drugs. The scientific report offers some acknowledgment that while it is suspected "drug rape" is on the rise, statistics regarding such incidents are a bit fuzzy because victims often don't remember the events.
Some of the "supportive data" that IS found in the report: drinks containing skimmed milk, Bailey's, or tonic give false positives, while sherry may give a false negative. So that guy who bought you a gin and tonic, the one you just "exposed" as a drug rapist? Should have insisted on rum and coke, I guess.
Also interesting: the USA/Canada website does have some helpful information on what to do if you think you have been drugged; the British website doesn't.

Conclusion: WOMEN! You are never safe! So buy our crap and protect yourself!

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It's nice that there IS a product available, I guess--apparently there's been a call for it for some time--but geez Louise it bugs me to see women's legitimate fear of being assaulted, or people's fear of crime in general, used to hawk expensive crap. If I can afford to spend an extra 8 bucks with every drink I consume, I guess I can afford to buy my own damn drinks and keep an eye on them. Unless I get distracted by my portable bar-top chemistry lab, I guess. Plus, this whole implication that date rape is something that only happens when women are incapacitated by drugs is repellent. I tried to find some statistics on what percentage of acquaintance rape involves non-intentional drug use, but all signs point to "that info is so not going to exist," that I guess I can't fault Drink Detective (tm) for not including it. Nonetheless, I'd bet my buttons that most rapes involve a lot more coercion and manipulation and force than they do GBH. (Several sites also pointed out that one known risk factor for rape is poverty. But who wouldn't pay $7.99 for security?)

I'm certainly not against preventing sexual violence, or even plain old forced drug use--which, as I recall is what this product is ACTUALLY for. Relating rape and drugged drinks for education and prevention might be useful; conflating the two into one synonymous thing is a disservice. Conflating them to make a buck is reprobate.