Lately on the TV

I have about fifty things to write about, but typing and time aren't going so great these days, so I haven't gotten around to it. So instead you get QuickCaps! Tiny little disjointed notes from my brain!

1.State of the Union. Ugh. Wasn't that the most pointless SotU yet? In case you didn't get the chance to watch it, take notes, and review the videotape later, here's the gist: Our union is strong, we're the sowers of freedom in the fields of unfreedom, and in response to Sputnik we will be putting more money to math and science. Republicans and Democrats disagree on pretty much everything from Medicare funding to whether Nancy Pelosi should cut her hair. Because of the flu I was trying to watch this on club soda alone. I think we can all agree sobriety is no way to run a country. Right, George?

Some highlights from my notes:
* "Bin Laden's taking shelter in Iraq? Is anybody fact-checking this? Did that come from Downing Street?"
* "I don't know what pattern is on Cheney's tie, but it's going crazy on the TV. Mind control tie!"
* "8:32. Wire tapping. Says it's for international calls. Says 'appropriate' members of Congress have been informed. Hilary grins broadly at the campaign commercial this will make. W. looks back at her like he's going to tell the rest of the football team she totally put out."
* "8:39: God, I want to line-item veto smarmy cheeky monkey fucking face."
* "8:48: GW says 'environment' for first time. Ever."
* "8:55: credits drop in crime, abortion, and drug use to rising 'conscience' in youth and abstinence-only education. Maybe I should just have one drink."
* "8:57: [indecipherable scribbling] Laura. Whore!"
* "9:00: HOW do you compare the war in Iraq to the work of Lincoln and MLKing? On the day Coretta SK DIED? Man. Somebody better call that shit out."

I was watching it mostly on ABC, who were kind of deliciously bitchy themselves.

Here's the tally:
Appearances of word "freedom": 17
"Hope" and "hopeful":21
"Katrina": 0
"Strong" and "strength": 10
"Wiretapping": 0
"AIDS": 6
"Condom": 0
"Protect": 10
"Defend": 1
"Attack": 6

Thank god that's over for another year! But next, the TV event of the biennial: The Games of the Umptieth Olympiad.

Although I don't normally track luge results, I admit it: I dig the Olympics. I like having one fortnight every couple of years to be all cheery and sporty and into crazy sports that somebody spent every day of the last two years thinking about, obsessively, almost monomaniacally, so they could get 16 seconds to sled down a hill. I like watching it and being all "Who knew Nepal is also known for skiing?"

Last night were the opening ceremonies. They were way overblown and weird, the way they always are, because the host country has to prove that they have a long and culturally important history, but that they're all about the now! And well into the future! The future is Torino! (I was disappointed, however, but the utter lack of shroud-related spectacles in the ceremony.)

My favorite part in the opening is the parade of athletes, when each nation comes walking in to the arena and NBC's design team puts up little country factoids and you can judge each nation on it's population density and their athletes' fashions. Let's face it: It's hard to look elite and sophisticated in winter wear, particularly sporty winter wear. The US actually looked pretty good this year, nicely subtle in black or white coats. Nice to see them keeping the garish red/white/blue/stars/stripes/Hollywood-and-cluster-bomb motifs to hats and gloves. Macedonia had wicked awesome fur hats, which apparently they always wear and which give the appearance of a fox casually devouring one's head. Japan went with the winter-head-warming power of nylon baseball caps, and sported an upside-down maple leaf on their jackets. Fuck off, Canada! Somebody, maybe Russia, had delicious coats for their ladies--white with red trim that looked like retro majorette costumes. And spats boots! Yay!

But the really messed up part was that this whole lengthy parade of athletes took place to the beat of (mostly American) disco music. The first 10 or 12 nations to walk in entered to "I Will Survive." I believe the Italians got "YMCA." So, if we believe the lessons of Turin, Night 1: Italy = Romans, Renaissance, Da Vinci, Pavarotti, and Gloria Gaynor. Sounds about right to me.