The first tornado watch of the year!

OH, my sweet existence! It's February, it's 60 degrees, the Olympics are on, and there's a tornado watch! It's like Christmas and my birthday wrapped up with candy!


* Did you watch the short track relay last night? Awesome. The U.S. team advanced easily, the Japanese tripped and got disqualified, taking down the Italian team; consequently, the Italian team moves on automatically. Know what that means? Instead of 16 skaters in choreographic chaos, there will be 20 skaters in the finals on Saturday. Mayhem! Bedlam! Anything could happen!

* They also had the preliminaries of the women's 500 meters the other night, and it's also a crazy mess because the whole thing is a sprint. Somebody fell and took down two other skaters, one of them plucky American Alison Baver. She got knocked down, but--as Chumbawumba would do--got back up again, and finished in qualifying position for the finals. (She didn't win.)
That's all great, but over the course of the evening's events the announcers must have mentioned at least three times that her boyfriend is speedskating star Apolo Anton Ohno. The first time, I was like "Oh?" After that, I was kind of irritated. In all the incessant nattering about Ohno--and god knows, I've nattered about Ohno enough myself--I've never heard anybody refer to him as Alison Baver's boyfriend. "Heartthrob," "cutie," "phenom," yes; "boyfriend of Alison Baver," no. Is it just because people won't recognize her name? Is it some sort of Cynthia Lennon-esque "don't let the fans know he's taken or they won't be as smitten" shunning? Is it because he's a stellar athlete and who cares about his dating life? And if that's it, why should we care about hers? I'm just saying.

* I finally watched the men's figure skating short program. I think the commentators are kind of bitchy. They were all over the poor French guy, summing up the conclusion of his performance with "O....kay?" I didn't realize Dick Buttons was such a shrew. They were nice enough to Peorian Matt Savoie, though, which pleases me, because maybe I'll run into him doing karaoke at the Liquor Basket and can be all "so...Dick Buttons is kind of a bitch, am I right?" Then he'd probably shake his pretty hair and sing "Through the Eyes of Love ("Ice Castles Theme Song")." Or "Ice, Ice, Baby." And then I'd probably spill High Life on his sequined shirt and get thrown out. Yay, Peoria!

* One last Olympic note: Russian speed skater Svetlana Zhurova credits her Olympic win to being a mother, because motherhood gives you strength. Take that, gents! There's one ergogenic you'll never harness!